It is impossible to love and then not feel anything…

It is impossible to love and then not feel anything…Either you lied then, or you're lying now.

At the same time, you're lying to yourself. Waking up with this person every day of your life, you look into the same eyes, see the same smile, but you feel completely different, yes, not an incredible storm of emotions, but more and more affection, respect, the need for the presence of a person.

There are moments when in one second the world collapses or divides into two completely different pictures of a completely parallel reality, and this reality is called divorce.

Someone will say that this word is a certain routine, well, who in this world does not get divorced? It's part of the daily routine, something that seems inevitable, something that marriage comes to anyway only in different periods of time.

But if we think not just about the meaning of the word, not just about the definition, but about the most terrible thing, about the consequences, then it turns out that these are not broken two halves of the universe, but more of an assault that takes with it in a chaotic manner happiness, the happiness of children, the happiness of your continuation.

We can talk about the reasons for divorce for an unimaginable amount of time and what is most interesting, they can be incredibly different from country to country and from culture to culture.

Delving into the details, I want to tell you about the most common causes of family breakdown.

•  Infidelity or an extramarital affair

When one person goes outside of the relationship to get their needs met, whether it is physical or sexual, this can doom a relationship.  It is very difficult to get trust back once a partner feels betrayed. 

Extra-marital affairs are responsible for the 20-40% breakdown of most marriages and end in divorce. This is one of the most common causes of divorce. 

• Trouble with finances

Why is divorce so common due to financial incompatibility? According to divorce statistics, a “final straw” reason for divorce is a lack of compatibility in the financial arena and causes almost 41% of divorce.

Everything from different spending habits and financial goals to one spouse making considerably more money than the other, causing a power struggle can strain a marriage to the breaking point. Also, differences in how much money each partner brings into the marriage can also lead to power plays between a couple.

• Lack of communication

Communication is crucial in marriage and not being able to communicate effectively quickly leads to resentment and frustration for both, impacting all aspects of a marriage.

On the other hand, good communication is the foundation of a strong marriage. When two people are sharing a life together, they must be able to talk about what they need and be able to understand and try to meet the needs of their partner. 

Poor communication is one of the biggest reasons for  65% of divorces.

Practicing mindful communication to change age-old marriage mistakes can be hard, but it’s well worth the effort to improve and save your relationship.

• Constant arguing

From bickering about chores to arguing about the kids; incessant arguing kills many relationships.

Couples who seem to keep having the same argument over again often do so because they feel they’re not being heard or appreciated.

Many find it hard to see the other person’s point of view, which leads to a lot of arguments without ever coming to a resolution. This can ultimately be a cause of divorce for 57.7% of couples.

• Unrealistic expectations or “Prince charming syndrome”

It’s easy to go into a marriage with lofty expectations, expecting your spouse and the marriage to live up to your image of what they should be.

These expectations can put a lot of strain on the other person, leaving you feeling let down and setting your spouse up for failure. Wrong expectation setting can become one of the reasons for divorce.

• Lack of intimacy

Not feeling connected to your partner can quickly ruin a marriage because it leaves couples feeling as though they’re living with a stranger or more like roommates than spouses.

This can be from a lack of physical or emotional intimacy and isn’t always about sex. If you are constantly giving your spouse the cold shoulder, know that it can become the ground for divorce over time.

Making your relationship intimate and special is the responsibility of both partners. 

• Not being prepared for marriage

A surprising number of 75.0% of couples of all ages have blamed not being prepared for married life for the demise of their relationship. Divorce rates are highest among couples in their 20s. Lack of preparation is one of the most common reasons for divorce.

Almost half the divorces occur in the first 10 years of marriage, especially between the fourth and eighth anniversary.

• Physical and emotional abuse

Physical or emotional abuse is a sad reality for some couples and contributes to 23.5% of divorces.

It doesn’t always stem from the abuser being a “bad” person; deep emotional issues are usually to blame. Regardless of the reason, no one should tolerate abuse, and must remove yourself from the relationship safely is important.

In fact, the statistics are not as bad as it seems at first glance. Based on the latest data, it can be concluded that the divorce rate has decreased from 50 to 25%. The main aspect that can be relied on was the fact that 70% of divorced couples soon regretted what they had done and might have fought for the preservation of marriage if they had a second chance.

Staying married or not is the choice of each person, you take responsibility for each other by creating a family piece of society, and also take responsibility for your children and their condition after the destruction of marriage as well. You may not even suspect, but very often, regardless of the age of the child, you impose a certain family pattern on his future and the perception of his future relationships and marriage. 

The main thing to remember is that you do not choose to try to make yourself and your child as happy as possible. 

Try to fight for this relationship, for this marriage, because it's not for nothing that once you looked into these eyes, you realized that this person is a part of your life, your air, your meaning of life.